Just Two

OK, so I have been doing this whole not drinking until Rusty comes home thing and it was going pretty well, until last Friday night. I went with Sara and April to wish a friend Happy Birthday at a bar. I think I did pretty well resisting it for a little bit, then I just decided to have one beer. When I finished that one, I wanted another, so I had another. I had thoughts of staying out and drinking all night. It's a good thing that Sara and April wanted to get going after an hour or I probably would have stayed and drank it up.

I felt like I had let myself down and thought about not even talking about it again but I decided it would be dishonest if I lied about it and if I got on here and just pretended that it didn't happen. I try to tell my truth on here and that would have been the end of the blogging altogether, I think.

I'm not sure why I want to drink or why I don't want to stop drinking really. I think I redeemed myself on Saturday night, however, by not drinking the Valentines beer that April brought over. It looked tasty too, a nice little variety pack and my mouth is watering just typing about it. That's awful. lol.

I know I'm not great at being at bars when I'm not drinking. Drunk people when I'm not drunk annoy me and I feel like I should apologize to people who have been out with me and weren't drinking because I'm sure I'm a shit-show. But I also don't ask or want people to take care of me.

CD 2/10/10

so last night I was watching RuPaul's Drag Race on VH1...it's so funny. I was inspired by a song I heard to find Ru music and I found her 2009 CD Champion. I don't generally put the full list of songs if I make a full cd but a couple needed to be mentioned...

Jealous of My Boogie
Tranny Chaser
LadyBoy

I also, know I haven't posted an actual blog about anything in a while. I'm sort of waiting for inspiration to hit because it seems that when I write and I'm not feeling it, the blog turns into just a jumble of nonsense that I don't even want to post and sometimes I don't. So stay tuned, I'm sure something will turn up.

CD 2/9/10

Wakey! Wakey! - "Almost Everything I I Wish I'd Said The Last Time I Saw You"

Matt Morris - "When Everything Breaks Open"

If you haven't heard Wakey! Wakey! do yourself a favor, especially songs like Brooklyn. As, for Matt Morris, I came across a couple of his songs on a blog site and liked them so I looked into him. He was on the New MMC with Justin, Christina, Britney and all the others and he's signed on Justin's label. The CD is great.

CD 2/8/10

1. Get Sexy - Sugababes
2. Drop The World ft. Eminem - Lil' Wayne
3. Window Seat - Erykah Badu
4. Telephone(Remix) ft. Beyonce - Lady Gaga
5. Put It In A Love Song (Remix) ft. Beyonce - Alicia Keys
6. Parachute (Buzz Junkies Remix) - Cheryl Cole
7. Glitter In The Air (Grammy's) - P!nk
8. Scream & Shout - Kelis
9. Even Angels - Fantasia
10.Perfection - Guy Sebastian
11. OMG (Radio Version) - Sabrina Washington
12. I Am (Electrolightz Remix) - Mary J. Blige
13. Red - Daniel Merriweather
14. State of Emergency - Nick Jonas and The Administration
15. Bodies - Robbie Williams
16. Under the Sheets - Ellie Goulding
17. Jump in the Pool - Friendly Fires
18. Sweet & Amazing - Sugababes
19. Ready to Love Again - Lady Antebellum

Sugababes - 7 (Full CD)

No CD

I'm not making a cd this morning because nothing really felt right and I don't wanna waste a CD if I don't like it. But I am listening to the Allison Iraheta CD before work today. Enjoyable.

Just Being Social

Eating. The bane of my existence. I've decided that my eating habits depend on where I am and who I'm with. If I'm home alone I tend to eat much less than when I'm with other people. I have two extremes with my eating. The first is eating when I'm bored. I will mindlessly eat for hours and not even realize how much I've eaten. The second is social eating. I tend to eat much more when I'm with other people, whether it be going out to eat or ordering lunch at work. The amount of food I consume is a little crazy. I need an eliptical machine!! I'm looking on ebay right now!

CD 2/4/10

Today I made the Susan Boyle CD for one reason. I played it a little and "How Great Thou Art" came on. I was all over it after that.

People...

One of the things that annoys me to no end is when people who don't make time for you in their everyday life suddenly expect you to make time in your life for them. I just don't get it, maybe it's just me.

CD 2/3/10

1. Grammy Medley - Lady Gaga ft. Elton John
2. If I Were A Boy/You Outta Know - Beyonce
3. Earth Song(Grammy Version) - Michael Jackson ft. Various Artists
4. Everybody Hurts - Various Artists
5. Drop the World - Lil' Wayne ft. Eminem
6. Carry Out - Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake
7. Even Angels - Fantasia
8. Reverse Cowgirl - T-Pain ft. Young Jeezy
9. How Low - Ludacris
10. Fuck Today - Lil' Wayne
11. Under Pressure - Jedward ft. Vanilla Ice
12. Love Made Me Stupid - Elin Lanto
13. One Tribe - Black Eyed Peas
14. Pussy Fight - The Game ft. Ray J & Nicki Minaj
15. Forever - Lil' Wayne ft. Kanye
16. I Am (Electrolightz Remiz) - Mary J. Blige
17. Shy Ronnie - Rihanna ft. Andy Samberg

My Blogs Never End Where They Start

I think I'm terrible with like emotional stuff. When someone is upset all I have to give is humor and that's not always an acceptable way for them to deal with their issues. But, if I can get past the humor I think I'm pretty good at giving advice. Generally if it's online it's easier for me to just give advice freely. I get really nervous about giving advice because I don't want people to think I'm judging them or talking down to them. I think my vast years of experience has helped me be a more objective person. I try to see from both sides of things but I can be perceived as oppositional. I do tend to find things that push people's buttons and I run with it. I try and try not to fall back into that but I think it's a way for me to keep people at arms length.

This was a totally random post that went far off track from where I wanted it to but we'll go with it.

CD 2/2/10

Well after the BET honors concert last night I was inspired to make a couple CD's this morning.

Whitney Houston - I Look To You
Jennifer Hudson - Jennifer Hudson

and I found what looked to be a cool cd

Agnes - Dance Love Pop (Deluxe Edition)

CD 2/1/10

1. Dirty Picture - Ke$ha ft. Taio Cruz
2. Scream & Shout - Kelis
3. On and On (Benny Benassi Remix) - Agnes
4. Everybody's Girl - Jennifer Lopez
5. Alice - Avril Lavigne
6. Grapes - Black Eyed Peas
7. Rocket - Goldfrapp
8. Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding
9. DJ Made Me Do It - Shontelle
10. Hypnotico(Silly Heartbreaker) - Tami Chynn
11. Hey - 3OH!3 ft. Lil' Jon
12. Your Love's A Drug - Leighton Meester
13. Retro Physical - Lady Gaga
14. Automatik - Livvi Franc
15. Party - Flyy Academy
16. Believer - Goldfrapp
17. Stranded - Jay Z ft. Rihanna & Bono
18. Push - Kat Deluna ft. Akon
19. Fooled Me Again(Honest Eyes) - Lady Gaga
20. Saxon - Nicki Minaj
21. Today Was A Fairytale - Taylor Swift

P!nk - Funhouse
I know I have this CD somewhere but i needed a copy for work and I added some of the songs from the funhouse tour.