I should not want a drink this much.  I'm trying not to drink for a while and I could really use a drink to help me out with this task. lol

Haunting

I'm constantly clinging to the ghost of our relationship.  Knowing that you never were really mine.  Knowing that the talk I need for me to get closure will never come because you shut down when it gets remotely close.  Yet the ghost still haunts me...day and night...breath to breath...

Confused

Constantly confused
Not together
Close
Your terms
Too long touches
Head on chest
Gotta go
For what
Someone else
Not me
Never
Look at me
Love me
Leave me
Let me be lonely

Torch

I miss your smell and your style and your pure abiding way

Miss your approach to life and your body in my bed

Miss your take on anything and the music you would play

Miss cracking up and wrestling our debriefs at end of day

These are things that I miss

These are not times for the weak of heart

These are the days of raw despondence

And I never dreamed I would have

To lay down my torch for you like this

I miss your neck and your gait and your sharing what you write

Miss you walking through the front door documentaries in your hand

Miss traveling our traveling and your fun and charming friends

Miss our Big Sur getaways and to watch you love my dogs

These are things that I miss

These are not times for the weak of heart

These are the days of raw despondence

And I never dreamed I would have

To lay down my torch for you like this

One step one prayer I soldier on

Simulating moving on

I miss your warmth and the thought of us bringing up our kids

And the part of you that walks with your stick-tied handkerchief

These are things that I miss

These are not times for the weak of heart

These are the days of raw despondence

And I never dreamed I would have

To lay down my torch for you like this

it's not you i miss,
it's the promise that you held.
the idea of that future.

A last kiss
The taste of forgotten passion
Thoughts of when we were new