So I haven't written a blog in a couple of days. I guess I haven't really been inspired by too much these past days. I have a couple of blogs that I've written but I'm not ready to post yet because they are either a little personal or because they didn't feel right to me when I finished them. Maybe a little uninspired or something of that nature. I have a blog that I'm working on about my brothers (focusing heavily on Rusty) but that one is taking a minute for me to finish. Go go Gadget Blog:
I thought about fasting and before you judge hear me out...At first, yes, it was just a superficial thing, but then I read up on it. It seems to be a great way to really cleanse the body, which I need, and also of getting to the core issues that I have with food. I know that I have a real issue with not only the things that I eat but the way I eat. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm upset. I eat socially. It's difficult, in my messed up head, to know that there's pizza in the other room and not get up and eat that pizza.
I think all of this goes back to my family. It has been an issue with me as far back as I can remember...the issue of weight. My mother has basically been on and off diets my entire life and most of my family aren't small people, which is fine as long as they're happy, but I think I associate gaining weight with not being able to do things that I want to do. It terrifies me to gain weight, yet I most of the time I can't stop myself from eating. So yeah, I thought fasting might be help me to get control of those feelings and figure out my connection with food.
I have always had body issues...I don't remember not having them. I have never been someone who throws up or just doesn't eat. I love food, on a whole other level. I know that I'm not obese by any means but I just wish i had the self control to put the food down and step back. I would also like to have the will power to exercise regularly. I work on this continually, it's always in my head. So tomorrow I start on the Special K diet AGAIN...another day one. lol Encouragements are welcome.
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3 comments:
I really liked your blog Ronnie. I can relate to this. I have the same problem with food. If it's there, I have to eat it. I've also always had weight issues, and with that you would think I could control myself. Food is my drug. I love it. I've been trying to excercise regularly, but the more I do, the more I eat. It's a vicious battle. I never would have guessed you had the same problem. I've always thought you looked fabulous just the way you are. :-)
We should start a support group Pam.
Food is happiness to me. Its not just to survive. Remember all of our pizza hut days and LJS Sundays? haha. Its a way of bonding. I have increased my portion sizes by 100% which is sad. I seem to never get full! I think i'd be ok if I gained weight in the areas that I choose. Love ya boo!
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